Happy Friday, To All & Sundry

Friday, October 11, 2013 - 01:52 PM

Behold! A glorious miscellany of week-end links. 

The Atlantic has been fact-checking Snapple Facts and what they found will hurt your heart. (They're mostly not true). To cheer you up, here's my favorite Snapple Fact comedy sketch. Language is NSFW unless you work in Snapple's Facts Dept., in which case you're already probably desensitized. 

Via Gaby Dunn, a chorus that sings awful YouTube comments. I enjoyed the terrible poetry of “I’d drag my balls through broken glass just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie."

We spent time in the dark corners of internet erotica this week. But not nearly enough time was spent talking about dinosaur erotica.

 

New York has an interview with two authors who write dinosaur-on-human porn. They make, combined, as much money as their friend who is an accountant. Here is the answer to the only other question you wanted to ask: 

Why dinosaurs?

To truly answer this question, I’ll have to go all the way back to when I first started writing erotica, a little more than a year ago. I was complaining to a co-worker one day about how I was having trouble making ends meet with my crappy job and my bills from college. (I had a day job at a supermarket alongside going to school. Christie worked as a tutor and went to school.) My friend told me about an article that detailed the self-publishing boom that was going on and about how E.L. James had made a fortune self-publishing her erotica. Thinking that I could write my own erotica, I went home that night and learned about all the self-publishing platforms that were available at that time.

Once I started making more money writing erotica than I did at my job (that only took one month), I quit to start writing full-time and going to school part-time. 

I did some research and found that a subgenre called “monster erotica” was starting to get popular. So I decided to write stories that contained monsters that were staples, or at least what I thought were staples, of the genre: shifters (werewolf), tentacle monsters (it was only later I found out shifters weren’t considered “monsters”). I wrote a lot of dragon-erotica stories, BBW romance, a few other things. But after a few months of writing about dragons having their way with busty maidens, I started getting burned out. I toyed with the idea of quitting and going back to work. But one day, I was walking and I thought about the movie Jurassic Park. My perverse mind immediately went to my work, and I pictured dinosaurs having their way with women. I died laughing. I was about to dismiss these thoughts as the workings of my freaky mind, but then I had an epiphany. Dinosaur erotica was something new that I’d never tried before.

I sat down the next week and wrote my first dinosaur story. I showed my story to Christie and we worked together to smooth out the prose. She liked it, and since then she and I have been writing dinosaur-erotica stories, among our other fiction. And that is how we became the dynamic duo of monster porn! 

 

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TLDR is a short podcast and blog about the internet by PJ Vogt and Alex Goldman. You can subscribe to our podcast here. You can follow our blog here. We’re also on Twitter, and we play Team Fortress 2 more or less constantly, so find us there if you like to communicate via computer games from six years ago.

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