This Olympic week was ideal for The Onion-esque absurdity in real life. An Olympic celebration choreography malfunction left London’s mayor suspended from a zip wire holding tiny British flags. Multiple badminton teams were suspended for not trying hard enough. Each one of these stories prompts the refrain: “It sounds like an Onion headline!” We called former Onion editor Joe Garden to ask him why these real life headlines don't quite pass muster. 

Also, we're running a contest: submit your real life Onion headlines to onthemedia@wnyc.org. Best entry gets one of our glorious, glorious On Caffeine mugs. 

Beth Orton - (Four Tet Remix) Carmella